The Plan
by Todyo
Summary: Gaz finally realises something, Zim is the guy to come to for messing with Dib. There will be ZAGR, and some and OCs. You have been warned. Rated M because there will be much cursing.
1. Chapter 1

**I started writing this about a week ago on a whim after finding some fanart on deviantART. I stayed up all night writing it, then got bored and quit. I have no idea what's possessing me now, maybe it's the fact I've had no internet for the past four days, but I am going to finish this. Please be gentle, it's my first time.**

Zim stared into the monitor, struggling to grasp exactly what he was looking at. He reached out to touch his reflection, and then back to his head. There was no denying it, he was growing hair.

He pulled his glove off and ran his hand across his once smooth scalp. He'd only realised what has happening this morning when he'd gone to put his wig on for skool, it was a perfect fit usually, but not today. He plucked a hair out and winced. It was short, black and rather spiky at the moment.

He hopped down off the chair he had been sitting on, allowing himself a brief moment of satisfaction at how he'd grown over the past few days. Before only his antenna would have risen above the control pad, now the top of his head was reflecting back at him. He was progressing exactly as predicted. Excellent.

He rode the elevator up into the house, cleaning his lenses of dust before pushing them back into his eye sockets. His wig however was more uncomfortable than usual, causing his scalp to itch horrifically. No today he would just have to hope that what little he'd grown would be enough to fool the smelly worm-babies at skool.

GIR was making French toast when he reached the top. He could smell the stench of melting plastic mixed with that of chilli and raw eggs.

"GIR!" Zim shrieked, "I'm going to skool now, and whilst I am gone you are to feed the filthy human Nick."

"Uh huh." GIR continued with the task of melting various items onto slices of bread.

"You remember Nick don't you? Neural Experiment 231?"

"Oh yeah...he got a big smiley face!" The little robot grinned inanely as if to illustrate the point.

"Yes, he does. Also you should clean out the quantum-powered spider cage; they started eating each other last week and now it stinks down there."

"I hope da smiley man likes mah toast!" GIR dropped a Game Slave into a bubbling pot, bursting into fits of giggles as Zim left the room muttering about how he didn't deserve this.

* * *

Zim was definitely getting taller, of that Dib had no doubt. If he had to guess he'd put him at roughly a foot taller than the day before, maybe more. Whatever Zim was planning now, he knew that it was going to be bad.

"See Gaz," he hissed at his little sister, leaning over her seat to push his binoculars into her face and in between her and her Game Slave. "Look at him; he's got a new wig too. Oh that's crafty, but not crafty enough to fool me!"

Gaz took the binoculars and snapped them in half, throwing them out the bus window as it pulled up outside Zims house. Then without a word, she returned to Vampire Piggy Hunter.

Zim marched onto the bus with his usual show of arrogance and disdain, receiving only cursory glances from his school-mates. There were only two free seats, one beside Dib and the other beside Gaz, both left unoccupied for very different reasons.

After a minute of angry muttering, gesticulating and general silent rage he sat down on the very edge of Gazs seat, as far away from her as possible. Her eye twitched as she realised who had invaded her space, and for a second it looked like she was about to physically attack Zim, but the bus started again, and as he was making no move to speak to her she decided to let it go.

"So Zim," Dib said leaning across towards him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're looking pretty sharp there."

Zim of course, failed to pick up on that. "Why thank you for finally noticing by superiority pathetic Dib-stink-creature."

"Yeah, I mean just look at you. Your boots are so shiny, and I don't think I've ever seen your skin so green."

"Ha, yes I have been looking after myself lately it is true."

"And say, is that a...new wig!?" Dib made a lunge at Zims head, managing to grab a handful of the short prickly hairs.

"Agh! Get this filthy pig monster away from my perfectly normal head! Normal, I'm NORMAL!" Zim screamed, reeling forwards. His antenna, which he had kept flat against his head so far immediately shot up out of shock. Dib managed to get hold of them and was pulled forward as Zim left his seat, only to end up losing his grip and falling face first onto the floor, his head getting stuck in an old puddle of spilled Poop Cola.

After a minute of cowering, Zim suddenly realised that the whole bus was staring at them. Smoothing his antenna back as though they were nothing more than two errant hairs, he confidently strode towards Dib, still caught in the sticky poop.

"So, Dib. Once again your GINORMOUS CRANIUM will prove to be your downfall!"

"My head is normal!" Dib cried, trying to pull his it out of the sticky patch, only to be smacked into the floor as they went over a pothole, "Ouch, damnit!" he yelled.

"That is where you are wrong stupid head-boy. And now..." Zim stepped forward. "Victory shall me mine."

Grabbing Dib by his huge, scythe-like hair, Zim hopped up onto the seat again, pulling the bus window down and raising Dib above his head in triumph. "Now, DIE!" he threw Dib out the window where he was crushed under the wheels of the oncoming traffic...

Or at least that was what he had expected, however it did not turn out exactly as planned. Dibs head merely smacked against window, too large to get through.

"Ow! God damnit Zim!"

"WHAT! What is the meaning of this?" Zim swung him against the window again, and again, and again. He pushed him through feet first, punching at Dibs planetoid sized head in a futile attempt to force it through the tiny window.

Gaz finally drew her attention away from her game. "His head's too big you idiot. You're not gonna get it through."

"SILENCE! I am Zim!" he kicked Dib in the head.

"Ahh! Why won't anybody help me?"

Gaz sighed, grabbing both Zim and Dib and dragging them to the fire escape at the back of the bus. She opened it, handing Dib back to Zim by his hair. "Try not to kill him; my dad would be really upset."

Momentarily stunned by the assistance, Zim only stared at Gaz, confused beyond words. Fortunately, she was able to kick Dib in the stomach before he could get lose.

"Well?" she asked. "Are you gonna do this or will I do it for you?"

"Yes I shall, Zim needs no help from smelly purple sister-humans!" He raised Dib above his head once more. "ZIM!"

Maybe it was the look Gaz gave him, maybe it was that much ignored voice of honour finally breaking through, or maybe it was the fact that murdering his classmate on a public school bus would only draw the attentions of the Earth authorities. Whatever it was, Zim did not throw Dib into the truck driving behind them. Instead he tied him to the door by his hair and left him flapping behind the bus like a flag. A flag with an enormous head. The rest of the bus erupted into cheering as he sat back down.

Gaz was watching Dib crying for help, the ghost of a smile playing across her face. Zim took Dibs seat behind her.

"Hey," she turned around in her seat to face him, "I just want to say thanks for that, like hurting Dib and everything. It was funny."

"Yes it was pretty funny wasn't it?" Zim turned around to look at Dib as well, waving at him.

"Yeah but I mean..." She stopped and thought for a minute before climbing over the seat to sit beside him. "I don't like Dib either. He's such a creep. Everyone hates him, you know how it is in skool, but I have to put up with it all the time. Dad does too I guess but he just ignores us."

"Uh huh." Zim was eating a candy bar he had just stolen out of Dibs backpack.

"I can't remember when he wasn't obsessed with all that paranormal crap, it's like his whole life. He just goes on and on and on! I don't have anyone to talk to, Dad's always busy, Dib's a freak, all the losers here are scared of me...Zim, what the hell are you doing?"

He was rummaging through Dibs bag, looking for more snacks.

Gaz sighed and handed him a bag of chips from her own pack.

"WEENIE FLAVOUR!" Zim tore them open, gorging on the pork flavoured potato snacks. He looked up at Gaz, glaring at him once more. He swallowed. "Ugh, thank you for the delicious pork offering female Dib...thing." He tried to add a smile, it didn't help.

"Gaz."

"Huh?"

She sighed. "My name, it's Gaz. Not female Dib, or purple pork monster, or skull demon child or whatever the hell you call. Although that last one does sound pretty cool."

Zim crunched on the last chip and belched. "To be perfectly honest Dib is the only one of your filthy race whose name I ever bothered to learn. The rest of you are all so boring."

"We're not all the same you know Zim. I don't know how things work on your planet, whether you're all born the same or whatever, but here on earth we're all different. That's why Dib is a freak and everyone else on this bus is a retard."

He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "What does that make you then?"

Gaz shrugged, and went back to her game.

* * *

GIR smiled at the TV, he had been watching all day though Zims spy cameras. "Aww, Zimmy made a friend. What choo think of that smiley boy?" He turned to Nick, strapped to his dolly, Happiness Probe protruding from his forehead, eye twitching every minute as he was zapped with waves of endorphins.

"I love it!" he cried. "It just…it just makes me so HAPPY!" He struggled against his restraints a little, trying to break free.

"Yeah, it's nice to see Master talkin' to someone other than Dib. NOW HERE COMES THE CHOO-CHOO!" Producing what looked like a half melted hi-fi, covered with eggs, baking powder and candy wrappers, GIR proceeded to try and force it into Nicks mouth through his lock jaw grin. "YOU GOTTA EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!" GIR screamed.

"Ow! It's delicious, ow! I love this so much, ow! I never wanna leave!"

* * *

"Hey Dibster!" called Louie from their usual table, far away from everyone else. Beside him were sat Gordy and Josh. Dib sighed and tried once again to readjust his hair to its usual position; it flopped down in front of his face. Just another thing Zim would have to pay for.

"Hey team." he replied with all the enthusiasm he could muster. He sat beside Louie and looked them over. His comrades, the men he relied upon in his war against the alien threat against the world.

Louie was new, he'd only arrived in hi skool the year before and so far he was the closest thing Dib had to a best friend. Tanned from his years on the west coast, bleached blond hair, perfect teeth and a winning personality, he would have been cool if it hadn't been for an unfortunate encounter when he had first arrived. Partnered with Dib in a science project, he had been dragged to Zims house as soon as humanly possible. One capture, escape and epic space battle later, there was no denying that the weird green guy was definitely an alien. In many ways he reminded Dib of himself when he'd first been introduced to the paranormal, only with a smaller head and an even smaller IQ. The guy could hardly work a video camera, never mind a cloaking jacket or hover-helmet. But his enthusiasm was one of the only things that kept Dib going sometimes.

Josh was just another reject washed into hi skool from some backwater corner of the state. Bad acne and worse social skills had isolated him from every other group in the skool, even the other nerds looked down on him as an outcast. To his dismay, he was quickly taken under the wing of Dib after he had foolishly mentioned a slight interest in the paranormal when they had first met. But friends were friends, so he tried not to look as enthusiastic as he could, plus the whole "saving the world from the alien threat" thing, and maybe the prospect of impressing some girls was an incentive.

No one could pronounce Gordys real name, only a few teachers even knew what country he was originally from. Born with a rare genetic disorder, he was completely paralysed save his left hand. Confined to a wheel chair for movement and a ridiculously old language programme for communication, everyone took the word that sounded like "We" to mean "Yes". As yet they had not been able to decipher "No". Dib had managed to upgrade his chair somewhat; extra seats could emerge for transporting the rest of the team, monitors for following various tracking devices, picking up signals, and an extra-large cup-holder. Whether these improvements were consensual remains a mystery even to Dib.

Together, they were the "Junior Swollen Eyeballs Command Unit of the North American Continent." Although the original Swollen Eyeballs threatened to sue Dib for unlicensed affiliation, so they usually settled for the "Junior Eyeballs".

"Shit bro, you look pretty beat up." Louie turned to inspect him, poking his limp hair. "Was your little sis wailing on you again?"

Josh guffawed, spitting out his retainer. He liked Gaz, a lot. So did Louie for that matter, though he was somewhat more discreet on the subject of his attraction to his best friends psychotic little sister. Gordys feelings on Gaz were unknown.

"I'm fine Lou," Dib muttered, pushing him back. "It was Zim, the bastard tried to kill me on the bus this morning. I know something's up, this is the closest he's come to killing me since he tried to turn me inside-out, and I'm sure he's getting taller, see?" He produced some photos from his coat pocket, they looked like they'd come from the buses security cameras. The first one showed Zim the week before, around four foot tall by Dibs reckoning, a midget compared to the rest of the school. The second showed the one from that morning.

Louie held the picture up to the light, examining it before passing it in to Josh. "You're right," he flicked a magnifying lens down over his spectacles. "I would put it at exactly fourteen inches taller than the previous week." He held the photo up to Gordys line of sight for a second.

"That's it!" Dib slammed his fist into the table, only succeeding in hurting his wrist. "Gentlemen, I hate to say this but I think he need to bring preparations for Operation Cobalt forward if we're going to have any chance of stopping whatever Zim is planning. It is imperative..."

"He's coming!" Louie cried, pointing to the lunch line that Zim was now leaving, and heading right in their direction.

"Assume the position!" Dib yelled.

Zim glanced out of the corner of his eye as he marched past Dib and his pathetic "friends". They seemed to be talking about embroidery today. He didn't even pause to wonder why; they were always talking about something random like this, no doubt a cover for their laughable excuses for meetings. He continued on to his usual table at the other end of the cafeteria.

Dib sighed in relief. That had been much too close. He sat up and glared at Zim as he experimentally prodded his pizza (as they were calling the triangle of charcoal they had been served) with his spork. He turned around and saw Gaz leaving the line as well.

"Hey Gaz!" Josh called, waving sheepishly and patting the seat beside him.

"Get fucked four-eyes." she growled, walking straight past them to the other side of cafeteria, sitting down right beside Zim.

He looked up from what he was told was Jell-O. For the second time that day too surprised to react. Gaz merely bit off a chunk of pizza.

It was probably the most awkward minute of Zims 174 years.

Eventually Gaz stopped chewing and spat the burnt pizza mush onto the floor, having extracted whatever flavour she could from it. She looked up at Zim, holding his gaze.

"Ughh..." he began.

Gaz cut in straight away. "My brother and his boyfriends are planning on breaking into your base." She pulled a file from her backpack and slid it across the table towards him. "I overheard them talking about it last night."

Zim glanced down at the file, then back up to Gaz. "Wha..."

She cut in again. "I liked seeing you beat the crap out of Dib today. Now I want you to hurt his creepy-ass friends too, and I'm gonna help you."


	2. Chapter 2

**I said I was going to finish this and I am a man of my word! Enjoy and please review, I am a compliment whore.**

"They've been working on it for about a month now," explained Gaz, hopping up onto Zims oversized purple couch and looking around. She had been inside Zims base before, but even now she could not get used to how bizarre it all was. A ridiculous caricature of a home. She pulled the file out of her bag and handed it over to Zim. "See, they've changed the name like six times."

Zim could just make out the previous name after it had been scribbled out. _'Operation Bubble man'_. Now it had been designated _'Cobalt'._ He opened it and began scanning through, every page was crammed full of Dibs spidery handwriting. Dates and possible times for the operation to be carried out, lists of equipment, even a crude plan of the base. Zim smiled to himself, the stupid earth boy had seen next to nothing of the actual base. It had been expanding deep into the earths crust for years now; he knew the planet inside and out.

"HA!" Zim yelled. "Foolish Dib thinks that he can stop ME? My thanks human Gaz, this will only make it even EASIER for me to dispose of him and his pathetic friends; I think I shall destroy you last for your he…" He never finished the sentence, struck by a huge bolt of electricity.

Gaz giggled as Zim laid twitching and groaning on the floor. He was her best hope for revenge on Dib. A true revenge, to finally get back at him for sixteen years of neglect and forcing his obsession on her. Maybe even a chance of making an actual friend, or even just someone to talk to who would not just go on about Bigfoot or creep on her. But by God was he an arrogant bastard, she'd never met anyone as self-obsessed as this little green guy. She slid off the couch and sat beside him. "It's my dads invention, he calls it _'The Membrane Cannon'._" She explained, holding out the small, pistol like weapon.

Zim groaned and curled up into the foetal position.

"When Dib and his friends show up, they're all going to be carrying these guns, and they won't use it on the lowest setting like I did. He's sick of the failure Zim, he's gonna fry you up and serve green bacon for everybody on earth."

Zim gave one final tremor and sat up, slowly and still in obvious pain, glaring at Gaz. "You could have just told me about the gun!" he screeched at her.

Gaz smiled sweetly at him. "Where's the fun in that? Besides you would have just laughed at it, and then when Dib shows up next week he'd have toasted your stupid green ass, and then who'd be laughing?"

"You?"

She frowned at him. "No, I'm on your side idiot. If I wanted you dead I'd have killed you years ago."

"I know what you mean…"

They glanced up; no one had heard him come into the room for once. GIR was sitting on Gazs head, burrito in hand and staring at the wall.

Gaz gently lifted him down onto the floor beside her. "That reminds me, can your robot do anything that could help us?"

"HA! Of course he can, GIR is a pinnacle of Irken military technology entrusted to me by the Almighty Tallest for my mission. GIR!"

GIR gleamed crimson, throwing down his burrito and saluting sharply. "SIR!"

Zim smirked, glancing over at Gaz. "Impress our guest; show her how you would protect our mission if Dib and his group of filthy worm babies were to suddenly attack us right now."

GIR turned to the door, bracing himself for this hypothetical attack. His head opened as he aimed it at the door, and fired a whole pizza out to splat onto the floor. He turned back to his usual cyan and ran into the kitchen shrieking.

"Uhh…Dib is allergic to pizza, right?"

Gaz shook her head and smirked. "No. He's allergic to peanuts though, so I don't know; we could throw a sandwich at him or something?" She grabbed a slice of pizza off the floor and sniffed it, it was still warm and the floor was pretty spotless. She took a bite.

Zim stood up and stretched. "Well, I better take GIR out for his walk now. So…"

"So I'll come with you, it's on my home anyway."

* * *

They had been combing the streets looking for her since Dib had sounded the alarm after school, only at Joshes insistence though, Dib that there would be hell to pay if they had been found to be _'stalking'_ Gaz when she was just trying to be by herself. That was something that Dib had noticed lately, she was getting moody. He was used to the anger, the threats, the homicidal twitching; that had always been Gaz Membrane. But it was like nearly all the anger had been sucked out of her in the past few months, she was still treating him and his team with the usual loathing and hostility, but she was regarding the rest of the world with a resigned boredom. Not even the latest batch of the games over Christmas had really excited her like they used to.

Dib scanned the treeline with his binoculars, standing on the back of Gordys chair as it trundled through the park. No sign of her. He radioed Louie and Josh who were checking the play park. "Seriously guys I told you she wouldn't be here, she's probably locked in her room and didn't want to speak to us. Now can we wrap this up and get back to work? We now have exactly one hundred and ninety-eight hours to get ready to put _Cobalt _into action!"

"DIB!" Joshes voice crackled in response, Dib could just hear him shouting into his own radio not too far away. "We have to find her! Don't you remember her sitting with Zim at lunch? And she didn't walk home with us today, what if he kidnapped her?"

"Oh Josh come on." Dib laughed back. "Look I think Gaz is going through some _'womans issues'_ right now, I mean maybe she didn't want you breathing down her neck? Besides Zim's nearly as scared of her as he's scared of that autopsy table that's waiting for him, he'd never try to kidnap her."

"Well then maybe they're dating!" Josh shrieked in reply, he was close to having a panic attack from the sound of things.

"What? Oh God no! She hates Zim as much as I do; she's been helping me fight him from the start man."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that bro." It was Louie.

"What makes you say that then Lou?"

"Because, I can see them walking this way."

For a long moment, nobody spoke. It sounded like Josh had fainted as all that was coming through from him was the faint hiss of static.

Dib tapped his ear piece experimentally. "I'm sorry Louie but can you repeat that? It sounded like you said you saw Zim and Gaz…"

"…walking this way? Yeah I did say that, because I can see that. I'm on top of the jungle gym, they just came in the north entrance now." The sound of crunching came through. What the hell was he eating?

I'm on my way!" Dib leapt off Gordys chair and charged into the undergrowth.

* * *

"Wait, so you're saying you destroyed your home planet?"

"No, I didn't!" Zim walked on a little further, dragging GIR behind him. Gaz was getting _very_ annoying now.

"Well then what the hell did you do to get banished to that food court place?"

"I was not banished!" he shrieked turning on her. "It was a…a _secret mission_ yes. The Tallest sent me there to crush a rebellion after my exemplary efforts in Impending Doom I."

"A rebellion of what, hotdogs?" she smiled sweetly at him, he was rather funny when he was angry.

Zims face darkened. "Well I think our walk is done here." He explained, checking his wrist for a watch he never wore, he'd seen other humans do it before and thought it was a polite way of telling someone to fuck off and leave you alone. He pulled GIR from out of the bush he had been sitting in and marched off towards the exit.

"Hey wait minute!" Gaz grabbed hold of his arm. "I'll see you tomorrow okay? I'll grab whatever else my idiot brother has come up with tonight and we can come up with a proper plan." She held out a hand, which he took somewhat grudgingly. She smiled to reassure him, "We're in this together now Zim. It's 'our' scheme, so if you try to cut me out of things I will deliver unto you a nightmare world of unspeakable horror. Okay?"

"Yes purpl-I mean _'_Gaaaazzzz'," he took a step back from her. "I shall see you tomorrow." And with that he had taken his leave, GIR bouncing along beside him, waving at her.

She was still staring at the exit when Dib got to her. "Gaz!" he rushed up to hug her. She turned sharply, tripping him as he bowled straight past her to land face down in a mud puddle.

"What the hell are you doing you freak?" she yelled at him. He had caught her completely off guard, how long had she been standing there?

Dib sat up and spat mud out of his mouth. "Louie…said…he…saw…" he panted.

"Louie saw shit!" She grabbed him by his collar, dragging him to his feet. Dib was at least a foot and a half taller than his little sister, but at times like this his legs seemed to have a mind of their own. "Where the fuck is that little freak? I'll kill him!"

Dibs eyes flicked over her shoulder, it was enough. She turned to glare over at the exact spot Louie was sitting in, perched awkwardly on the monkey bars, there was no way she could have seen him, hell he could only just see her and Dib, but it seemed to him as though she was looking him right in the eye. The sky clouded over and within seconds torrential rain was lashing from the sky.

Louies voice crackled over the radio. "I think I'm gonna be going Dibster, my mom's making pizza bagels tonight…see ya tomorrow!"

Gaz pushed her brother back to the ground and turned home, leaving him to be washed away by the rain, or so she hoped.

* * *

Zim sat brooding in one of the seeming infinite sections of his base. On the screen in front of him giant, glowing spiders were fighting; GIR had apparently forgotten to feed them. He flicked a popcorn kernel, rather than catching it in his mouth it landed on his forehead where it stuck. He sighed and flicked it off. It was going to be a long night.

"Computer, run the Irken-Human genome meld simulation again."

The screen changed as one particularly large spider began to feed off its smaller counterpart to two rotating images of an Irken and Human. Posed much like Da Vincis _Vitruvian Man_, they were both naked and male, though only the straight antenna and lack of eyelashes made it obvious as to the gender of the Irken. Side by side the differences were obvious to anyone with half a brain cell; the skin, the height, the eyes and antennae, the lack of hair and genitals, something which simply added to Zims confusion over the species. This whole experiment had started due to a mandatory biology class on _'the facts of life'_ as the unenthusiastic hi skool teacher had described the various changes known collectively as puberty, along with rather a lacklustre explanation of _'desires'_ and reproduction.

Of course it was all a little late; they were all seniors by now. Everybody had been at least a foot taller than Zim for years, going through every other disgusting little change that had nearly had him puking as he was told exactly what was happening in his classmates bodies.

"Commence simulation!"

He watched in awe as a little cartoon helix whizzed across from the human and straight into the Irken with a satisfactory 'ping!' Immediately the Irken began to change, he grew like a weed, matching his human counterpart before he had completed even one revolution. He grew in proportion too, with limbs that could support his body, not like the Almighty Tallest he mused; neither of them would ever walk again with their spindly legs. Whilst this was happening hair was sprouting from the Irkens head, as well as in some other places, matching the human to his right exactly. Finally, genitals appeared. No graphic illustration of how they would emerge. One second the area was completely empty, the next it was there. Zim glanced down at his crotch, what that would feel like, he did not even want to think about. Hair was itchy enough, but a penis? Almost as quickly as it had begun, it was over. The two images were practically clones, albeit one was green with slightly larger red eyes, no nose or ears and a set of antennae, but still close enough.

He sat back and ate another handful of popcorn. A few more days and it would be done; he would be exactly six foot two inches tall, weigh one hundred and seventy-seven pounds and possess a full head of thick black hair. The computer had failed to mention how large his penis would be, that seemed to be important to humans, especially the women as he had read in various articles on the subject of enlarging it.

He flicked some popcorn at the screen, hitting the human image square in the stomach. A few more days and Dib would finally shut up about how he'd not been growing along with everyone else. The filthy cow monster was nearly six foot tall himself and getting bigger every day, he had been lording it over Zim about his height for years now. Even his sister was taller than him, Gaz. Strange that he had actually remembered her name.

"Computer, give me Spy Cam 4."

The image switched, it was Dibs kitchen, as seen from the top of the refrigerator.

"Oh what the hell is this? Switch to manual control!"

A tiny joy-stick appeared in front of him, wiping his hands off on his tunic Zim grabbed it and the little camera began to buzz around the Membrane household. He was aiming for the houses basement when the door opened, he dove the wildly, narrowly avoiding a crash. Flying off to a safe distance he panned the camera back, it was Dib and his friends leaving the nights meeting.

"Ohhh DIB!" he flung another handful of popcorn at the screen. There was no audio unfortunately, but he could see them all chuckling about something. "Laugh now pathetic earth boys, your end is near! Your little disinformation plot doesn't fool me Dib, NOTHING FOOLS ZIM!"

The other three left after a few more minutes, he had never bothered to learn their names. Dib was the real threat after all, they were just his pawns. Dib waved them goodbye before heading upstairs. Zim waited another minute before heading up after him; he'd just turned a corner before he was flying into someones face.

"EVASIVE MANUVERES!" he shrieked, looping back to avoid an enormous hand that was bearing towards him. Flying back a little he saw a purple head descending the stairs, acting quickly he zoomed towards the basement door only to have it shut in his face. "DAMNIT!"

He buzzed around a little longer, there was no lock on the door, only a finger scanner that appeared to be scattered all over the Membrane house. No way under the door frame either, the basement was a literal fortress, the most secure part of the house as Zim had found out after years of trying to counterattack Dib and his team.

A few minutes later, Gaz reappeared at the top of the stairs, she shuffled a few papers under her arm, then walked to the kitchen, emerging a few minutes later with a glass of milk.

"So then, little Gaz. It appears you really aren't working for your brother, this could be interesting."

He kept close behind her as they ascended the stairs, slipping in through her door as it was slammed shut behind her. She took a sip of milk, and literally collapsed onto her bed. Kicking off her boots and flicking through the papers before leaving them on the desk beside her. Zim flew down; sure enough it was instructions on how to work a cloaking jacket, so simplified that even a child could understand them. The second page was a plan of the base, much more detailed than before. The hanger, repair bay, reactors, he had even managed to make an accurate guess as to where the armoury was despite the fact there was no way he could have seen it. Crafty stink pig.

A shadow appeared above him and he buzzed away as fast as he could, but it was only Gaz reaching for something else on the table. It was a book, more than that even, a diary. Zim had seen other human girls writing in their own out in the school yard or during free classes, though he'd never suspected Gaz of possessing one. He landed on the wall behind her and zoomed in.

Her handwriting was awful, even worse than her brothers, and it kept smudging due to her writing left-handed, but he could make out most of it. He was mentioned right from the start, but he soon lost track of exactly how he featured in anyway, lost she went in various tangents about feelings. Anger, sadness, isolation, confusion, longing, love. Wait love? He looked back, finding a fairly legible paragraph.

_...such an asshole I know, but who else is going to help me? Not even that, I actually enjoyed talking to him today. He's such an uptight little bitch and he's so easy to annoy, I nearly pissed myself like three times hearing him go on about how he was on a secret mission! Hell he's even a little cute when he's mad, and his eyes are kinda cool too. I'd actually love it if he wanted to talk to me though, but it's pretty obvious he's only taking my help because he has too…_

Zims head hurt, humans were too confusing by far. Emotions, inner motives; it was making the mission much harder now. Hell he would actually have preferred if this was just Dibs feeble attempt to draw him into an attack, the fact this stupid girl was not only betraying her kin and her planet to get at her idiot brother, but also enjoying the pleasure of his company at the same time was beyond him.

**Does anyone else here feel those feels? I was going to make it longer, but that involved a very weird scene with Gaz undressing, Zim watching and GIR interrupting, shit was awkward enough already without having a non-consenting, underage girl being creeped on by a centuries old intergalactic space monster. That's getting into Japanese territory and I will not walk there.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the delay, I was stuck halfway through hating this thing, and then I kept going until me and the story had a second honeymoon and I fell in love again. And yes, each chapter is slowly getting longer. Enjoy.**

Gaz was sitting under the football stands; it was where she spent her free classes. The only other people who went there were the stoners and any paedophiles who decided to hang around the skool, and aside from one brave or stupid guy who thought she would make an easy target she was left alone. It was probably the fact she had dislocated his arm and left him bleeding in a puddle that had frightened off any other would-be sex offenders. She rubbed her eyes, there had been a fly in her room the night before, the stupid thing had kept her awake with its infernal buzzing.

"So what do you have for me?"

She turned like a flash, ready to lay into whatever creep had decided to _'get to know her'_ today. Stepping forwards from the shadows, she realised it was Zim, but something was different. His hair, it looked almost normal now, no longer a layer of dark stubble across his scalp. He obviously had not combed it though, it stuck out everywhere like a birds nest.

She lowered her readied fists and walked up to greet him, and then she stopped and looked up. Holy shit, Dib was actually right! Zim seemed to have grown nearly half a foot in one night; she barely reached his nose now, or whatever he called the middle of his face. "Uh, hey Zim. I've got the stuff right here," she pulled out the files she had stolen last night, with additional notes she had made on the various weaknesses and flaws of her brothers equipment. It was not just Dib who had learnt how to use their fathers inventions over the years.

He snatched them from her hand and gave them a cursory glance, he already had all the information they contained, but continuing this façade of cooperation may be useful, or at least good for a few laughs. "Thank you very much Gaz, these will prove most useful." He saluted, turned on his heel and marched off.

"Hey, wait up!" she hurried to catch up with him. They received strange looks from the small gang of potheads who would spend most of their school life under those stands; Gaz they knew to fear, but Zim was just the neurotic green guy, whatever he was doing down here it was not good.

"What is it, little Gaz?" Zim smirked, he had just realised the new height difference.

"Well, I was wondering if we could go see a movie or something before we go back to your place. _Gut Buster III_ is coming out tonight."

"_Gut Buster_?"

"It's about an alien parasite that possess human bodies using them to kill other people, it eats them whilst it's controlling them so it has to switch all the time, and when it leaves the host body it explodes out through their stomach. Hence, 'gut buster'." She stopped and turned, Zim was standing behind her drooling with a glazed look in his eyes. She knew he would like the sound of this one. "I take it that means yes?"

He shook himself. "YES! YES WE SHALL THE _GUT BUSTER_ TONIGHT!" Barely able to contain his excitement he shivered, practically dancing with delight. One of the stoners behind them pointed at him, causing a ripple of laughter to run through the group, Gaz flipped them off. Fuck those guys she thought, they would all pay soon enough.

* * *

"Okay, who told you this?"

"Steve, the guy in my biology class." Louie explained. "You know the one who always laughs when he sees a picture of a dick?"

"Stoner Steve? Jesus Lou, that guy couldn't tell you the day of the week never mind remember a conversation." Dib pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes, the late night planning was taking its toll on him.

"I'm just telling you what he told me bro, don't shoot the messenger." He took a sip of his suckmunky and coughed a globule of phlegm into his hand; those things kill more people than cigarettes. "So what's the plan?"

"What do you mean 'plan'?"

"I mean, what are we gonna do about Zim going out with your little sister?"

"They're not going out!"

"Dib!" yelled Mr Saunders, their grotesquely overweight English teacher. "What have I told you about screaming in class boy? Just because you're crazy does not make you exempt from the rules, you have to control your screaming just like everybody else!"

"Yes sir," Dig sighed. "Sorry sir." As soon as Saunders had waddled back over to the chalk board Dib turned back to Louie. "We're not going to do anything, Steve was talking shit or he heard a rumour and got confused, I don't know. What I do however know is that we all need to focus our energies on the mission, I want no fuck-ups, I want everyone to know exactly what they have to do and when they have to do it, no distractions this time."

"God damnit boy what did I tell you about screaming!" Saunders bellowed at him, crushing the stick of chalk in his meaty hand.

"But…I wasn't screaming…"

"You just earned yourself a time-out you sass-mouth, big-head little bastard! You come right here at the end of school or I swear I will find you and I will eat your fucking heart!"

The room was filled with a deathly silence; Saunders wiped the foam from his mouth and sat down. "Please take out your copies of _Gone with the Wind_, read quietly from page 307 and take notes as appropriate." He took a bite out of a muffin he had pulled from his pocket and slept soundly for the rest of the class.

* * *

"THAT WAS THE GREATEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" Zim was still shouting from inside the theatre, not yet adjusted to normal volume outside; there had been at least three separate complaints about him being too loud, Gaz had managed to silence every one of them with no bloodshed.

She smiled at him; she was smiling more and more these days. "I knew you'd like it."

"It was…did you see when…OH BY THE TALLEST IT WAS GOOOD!" He crouched down, trembling in sheer joy at the experience that was _Gut Buster III_, even his antenna were sticking up through his hair, but it was in such a state that no one seemed to notice.

Gaz sat down beside him. "Yeah it was good, I'm glad you liked it."

"Oh I did more than like it, THIS MOVIE IS MY LIFE! I must try to capture this gut buster creature myself, remind what was its home planets name again?"

"It's not a real alien you moron," she sniggered. "They made it up for the movie; you can't just go and catch one like a friggin' pokemon."

His antenna drooped. "Oh come on Zim, I'm sure there's something out there that'll eat people's guts for you, hell you could probably make it your-"

"AH HA!" Louie burst out from the bushes beside them, leaves still stuck in his hair from the two hours he had spent waiting for them to come outside.

"The fuck?" Gaz yelled.

"AGHHH!" Zim shrieked, scuttling behind Gaz. "It's after my delicious organs!"

"Shut up you Alien freak. Gaz," he held out his hand. "I'm here to take you home. Dib's in detention and I swear I won't tell him anything, but you need to stop this right now."

She glanced over her shoulder at Zim, eyes shut tight and trembling in fear of whatever monstrosity his mind had conjured up. She stood up and glared at Louie, only coming up to his chest. "And why would I want to do that?" She growled.

He blinked. "Because he's an unspeakable monstrosity from beyond! I mean, just please tell me you're joking?"

Gaz held his gaze; a line of sweat dripped down his forehead despite the coolness of the evening; behind her Zim had opened his eyes and was trying not to be noticed.

"You're not joking? So you're actually dating this…thing?"

She thought for a moment, dating Zim? She had never really had a boyfriend; they were just stupid cretins who would get in the way of her gaming and try to spend time with her. Then again Zim wasn't like the others.

"Yeah actually," she growled, desperately trying to hold back a smirk. "Zim's my boyfriend now." She grabbed the alien by his arm and dragged him out from behind her with a yelp before lacing her fingers between his gloved claws. "And I'm not gonna dump him because some arrogant shithead is jealous that I chose the sexy green guy over his spray tanned ass. Is that a problem?"

Louie could not even think of a response, he simply made a face of disgust and fled across the street trying to contact Dib.

For his part Zim's mind was feverishly trying to work out some sort of stratagem for escape. The Gaz-human had just claimed him as her own! He had heard about such relationships, human media portrayed them as some sort of ideal for people of his supposed age group, but from what he had heard in the skool it was more like some form of slavery. The male would spend the entire courtship trying to win the females approval with gifts in the hope of taking her as his mate. Neither spending his moneys on gifts nor mating, assuming he ever could, and creating some monstrous hybrid with this stupid ape was a priority to him. He was snapped from his thoughts as Gaz gave a sharp tug on his arm.

"Come on you stupid space bug!" she yelled at him, pointing to where Louie had ran off to. "He's gonna get away, he's gonna tell Dib!" She smacked him once in the shoulder just to get him on the ball.

"AGHHH! DIB! ZIM IS NO BOYFRIEND!" He sprinted after the filthy blonde-beast, Gaz following him into the darkening streets.

* * *

Louie crouched down beside an overflowing dumpster to catch his breath. He had run track for his old school, but all the time spent eating junk food in front of a computer monitor with Dib had not done anything to help him. He peaked around it; a cab drove past the alleyway but otherwise the street outside seemed to be deserted. He tapped at his video watch again. Dib was still disconnected, when he reactivated it he would be treated to about twenty garbled messages about mind-control, abduction and alien-human hybrids, along with one where he explained that he did not use spray tan.

He was just about to make a move when he heard it. Footsteps heading towards him. Oh shit.

Louie peaked around the corner again. There, standing at the entrance of the alley and silhouetted by the street lamps, it could only be Gaz. Somehow she had gotten hold of a crowbar.

He was tensing now; hoping to make a break for it, the chain link fence at the other end of the alley seemed to be small enough that he could climb it before Gaz reached him; but then another noise, a metallic clicking directly above him. There was Zim, standing on the roof of the building just opposite. If Gaz was scary then this image of Zim was something out of his worst nightmares, fully extended on the legs from his PAK, the moon shining directly behind him. It was like the first time he had watched _War of the Worlds_, seeing the tripods. He hadn't slept for days afterwards.

Zim sniffed the air, like a bloodhound tracking its quarry. He moved over to his left until he was standing directly above him, Gaz was watching him from the street. He sniffed again and licked his lips, smirking a little. Not a bloodhound, this was more like a wolf, hunting for the pure pleasure of it. He had made up his mind, now or never. Louie counted to five and ran.

He had barely gone five feet before Zim had pounced down in front of him, blocking his way to the fence. His contacts were out, his eyes the colour of blood.

"Going somewhere?"

Louie choked back a cry of terror, turning and falling into a puddle. His struggling splashed some of the filthy water into Zims eyes and he recoiled in pain.

"Stay away from me you fucking monster!" he shrieked, scrambling back to his feet and sprinting towards the exit.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten about a certain violet haired, amber eyed person. The dull thud of metal on bone filled the alleyway as Gaz struck him hard in the face, knocking him onto his back.

He saw them both standing over him as he lapsed into unconsciousness.

"GIR, bring the Voot out to my coordinates," a voice said, strangely echoing. "We're going to have a guest tonight."

* * *

Tracking down the blond-beast had been the most fun Zim had had in years. He had decided long ago that conquering the earth could not be done in one fell swoop as he had always planned, especially once he had realised that there was so much more to the horrible little dirt ball than the city he had made his home in. Communications were intercepted and scrambled, generals issued commands that they had never even thought of, and Zim had enjoyed a very profitable weekend once he had learnt what "Wall Street" really was. But todays hunt was something else; it had taken him back to his training days. Invaders were expected to be capable of operating in any environment, so naturally training assignments were often arranged off Devastis. Sometimes, their instructors would allow them to hunt native inhabitants as a reward for a successful assignment.

Now however his mind was preoccupied with the stupid cow-monster that was sitting beside him. Gaz had insisted on taking part in Louie's interrogation, threatening to tear his arm off if he refused; now she was playing some idiotic human video game on his computer whilst they waited for him to regain consciousness.

Stupid human. Gaz was definitely attractive by the human standards of beauty, after some research into the subject Zim had found that girls of her particular build and facial structure were seen as highly desirable. Not that he particularly cared about such things. The sex instinct had been wiped out of the Irken mind millennia ago on the instructions of the Control Brains. The greatest military in the history of known Universe could not be distracted by such things as "making babies". Then again, there was no record of any successful attempt to cross the DNA of an Irken with any other species, especially not one capable of reproduction.

"Hey idiot," Gaz snapped at him. "Your computer says Lou's awake now, are we gonna question him or not?"

"Hmm?" Zim shook himself back to reality. "Of course we are filthy pork-beast, TO THE INTERROGATION ROOM!"

* * *

He watched her on the video link; it was like a poem of violence. Louie was suspended in the centre of the windowless room whilst Gaz worked the controls. Physical pain was all well and good for information extraction, and arms could extend from the wall at the push of a button to stab, slash, burn, pull, pry and electrocute; but those methods were just too primitive. Psychological torture however, that was a limitless source of pain for someone with sadistic sensibilities, and Gaz was most definitely that sort of person. He screamed and moaned, wept and raged in equal measure, she seemed to especially enjoy it when she discovered his attraction to her. Within seconds Gaz had created for Louie a perfect world, with her as his loving wife, and then just as quickly destroyed it all; Zim almost wished he could see the twisted despair as Louie was witnessing it, his name was mentioned a few times in between incomprehensible screams. Irken art was primarily victorious, patriotic imagery mass created by computer, all of it expressing loyalty to the Tallest and the empire, disdain for other races, love of conquest and such; however there was still room for abstract, more personal art. The state this violet haired human had reduced the greasy blond monkey too was worthy of pride of place in the greatest galleries of the empire in Zim's own opinion. It was beautiful.

Gaz was smiling when she left; Louie's ragged sobs echoed behind her. "That was more fun _Brain Munchers 3_." She admitted.

For once, Zim was at a loss for words. He was looking at Gaz in a whole different light now. Not just another filthy piece of bacteria festering in this backwater mud ball of a planet, but something much, much more. "That was amazing." he whispered.

She blushed softly; a compliment from Zim was a hard thing to come by. "Thanks," she replied before tentatively kissing him on the cheek. "It's your turn now, he's actually pretty damn terrified of you already, so it should be even easier." Zim merely nodded before walking off in a daze. Maybe this boyfriend thing was not such a bad idea.

* * *

"Computer!" Gaz shouted. "Show me PAK memory banks." Zim was busy with Louie now, she could see how much fun they were having on the screen to her right, hopefully he would not kill him though, she wanted all of them to be there when Dib attacked.

"Right away ma'am!" the computer piped up, not even questioning the request to have access to the master's most private memories. Good, she thought, the base already knew to respect her.

A timeline sprang up on screen; every moment of Zim's life was now available to her, it was even labelled with the key moments. The computer clearly did not want to annoy someone the master was in complete awe of. Gaz was curious. She knew Zim had been spying on her brother for years now, and that of course meant he had seen plenty of her life as well, now maybe she could answer a few of the questions she had about him.

She watched as much as she could. Zim's birth brought a smile to her face as he hugged the mechanical arm that had brought him to life, and his antics whilst growing-up underneath the surface of his home world were amusing to say the least. Her favourite part however was his military training; shortly after the death of Tallest Miyuki after the "Vortian Betrayal" (as Zim's Infinite Energy Absorbing Blob had been seen as a Vortian plot) he had been selected to have his PAK rewritten for military service, the logic being that someone so skilled at destruction would surely excel as a soldier. And excel he did, perhaps not when working in a team, Zim's instinct for self-preservation gave him the tendency to willingly sacrifice his comrades in the simulator, but when working alone he shone. The years as a military scientist on Vort had given him an unparalleled ingenuity with improvised weapons, and his sadistic streak was seen as an admirable quality for an Elite. Zim's test to become a fully-fledged Invader had been typical; to land on a primitive planet, of no strategic interest to the empire and cause as mayhem and destruction as possible whilst receiving no aid whatsoever. By the time he was allowed to return back to Irk, over two-thirds of the planets inhabitants had been wiped out by a virus of his own creation, and it was still going strong. Gaz was impressed, if a little confused as to how the Irkens destructive capabilities had failed him so far.

A door whooshed open behind her, the computer blinked back to her video game without an instruction. Zim was beaming at her. "I do believe I have triumphed over little Gaz in my interrogation skills, not only did the mighty Zim gather all information on their pathetic earth monkey plan, but he did so with his own two hands. PRAISE ME!"

"You know the plan is gonna change now, right?"

His antenna pricked up. "What do you mean?"

She sighed and rubbed her eyes, it was really late, and despite everything Zim was still really annoying at times. "I mean that once Dib realises that Lou is gone he's going to assume the worst, which is you kidnapping him. And then he's going to come in here tomorrow all gung-ho for an assault you haven't even begun to prepare for."

Zim growled in the back of his throat. "Well then what does my Gaz suggest Zim do now?"

Gaz smiled at the _"my"_ part, it was just too stupidly sweet to ignore. "_Your_ Gaz suggests that you let Louie go tonight. He'll run off to Dib and say you kidnapped me, which he won't believe because I'll have been in my room since I got home from school. Then the _mighty_ _Zim_ can spend the next few days preparing himself for the fun we're both going to have when those dweebs finally show up."

Zim thought for a moment. "Sounds like a plan."

**Just a few things, I make this up as I go along so sorry for plotholes and such, I may fix them up some day. Also, Sadism is awesome and Zim and Gaz were obvious sadists from the start. They're not really bad guys, Zim doesn't care about conquest that much anymore and fro Gaz to be a villain then Dib would have to be a hero, which he obviously isn't as he's an idiot with a giant head. They just do stuff which you mortals regard as morally wrong. Still make a cute couple though :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Oi vey, this was supposed to be the last chapter, but there were unforseen events. The next one will be the official last, with a little epilogue for the lulz. Enjoy everyone, especially that one Finnish person to have viewed this. FINLAND!**

The days went by without much incident. Dib never received any of Louie's messages whilst serving his detention in the skool's "Rehabilitation and Fun centre" (underground complexes tend to have poor reception), when Louie finally made it to his house the next day he simply refused to believe the story. Not even Dib could fully explain why; fear of his sister, his determination to focus on their mission, full on denial of any evidence when his victory was so close to hand, possibly a combination of all those factors. Not even the claw marks across Louie's back could convince him, the time had come to focus.

Zim and Gaz were focusing too. Zim's own strategy had simply involved upgrading the gnome sentries and laughing as the Junior Eyeballs got scorched off his lawn, Gaz's plan however was somewhat bolder. It was risky, but should it work they would not only force Dib and his friends out of the base, but possibly traumatise Josh and Louie so much that they would never be able to look at the strange green house again without screaming in terror.

Gaz tried to visit Zim every evening, still under the pretext of planning the defence of the base. In truth they had been finalised the day after Louie had been released. Zim did not complain though, he had only just started to realise that maybe having some company was not such a bad thing. GIR and the computer were always there of course, but they could hardly count as companionship, the little robot could barely form a coherent sentence without spitting nachos over his face, and Zim could not shake the feeling that the base's computer was somewhat contemptuous of him. Gaz however was different, her awareness of her species stupidity and feebleness was refreshing after so many years on Earth, her adeptness with Irken technology was impressive and her natural skill at torture gave Zim… pleasing thoughts, to say the least.

However despite all their time together, neither of them had really attempted to inform the other of any particular feelings. Gaz had the better understanding of hers and had been trying to write it off as a crush that would pass once Dib was dealt with, though as she got to know Zim better it was getting harder to convince herself. He was cute in his dorky, awkward way, and seeing him hunting Louie had literally sent a shiver down her spine. He actually listened whenever she tried to tell him something, he even seemed to be interested most of the time; he was just a different sort of guy to the other worms who had tried to ask her out before. Either loud, obnoxious, idiots who thought that just because they had a penis she was destined to suck it for them, or creepy, quiet guys who thought because she rejected the loud guys she must prefer nerds instead. Basically the entire situation with Josh and Louie summed up, both of them creepy and annoying but in very different ways.

Zim on the other hand had literally no idea what was going on. He liked Gaz, that was obvious, but it was not just respect for another skilled warrior, it was some sort of urge he had never felt before. Similar to how he felt when speaking to the Tallest or watching troops drilling, but magnified hundreds of times, thousands. He wanted Gaz, wanted her to stay, to keep helping him with his plans. He had listened to her complain constantly about Dib's ignorance and her father's neglect, he wanted to stop that. If she stayed with him she wouldn't have to be lonely again. It was incredibly confusing, this desire to help and protect an inferior being, with absolutely no guarantee of reward. Damn human hormones.

It was Friday night; Dib's attack was scheduled for 8pm the next day. Gaz came into Zim's house and flopped onto the couch; GIR was upside down watching _The Scary Monkey Show_.

"HEY GAZZY!" the little robot shrieked, still wearing his dog disguise. "Choo here to see mah master?"

"No GIR," she smiled a little, as annoying as he was GIR was still too stupidly sweet for even her to be mad at all the time. "I came over for the pleasure of your company, how's your day been?"

"Me and Pig went flying into space on a ship made outta chilli beans!" He then proceeded to spin around on the floor, making whooshing sound effects to better illustrate exactly how he and Pig had gotten into space.

"GIR!" yelled a voice over the houses intercom. "Stop bothering Gaz, I COMMAND YOU!"

"Chill out Zim, its fine. Where are you anyway?"

"Right here my Gaz." He was calling her that a lot now; he had explained it as an insult to the Dib-monkey. She was no longer Dib's Gaz, but Zim's. It sounded a lot less cute when put like that; put the possessive edge of it was still appreciated. It was nice to be wanted.

She turned to see him emerging from one of his various elevators, smacking his head on the table which had risen to let him in. The base was trying to reconfigure itself for its master's new size, but the work was slow going, Zim was getting stuck every time he tried to go through the toilet, much to Gaz's amusement. His clothes were far too small as well; Irken clothing gave some leeway for growth, but nothing to this extent. His tunic was now a pink t-shirt, and a very tight one at that; he had thrown his boots out and replaced them with some exceptionally old ones he had found in someones trash, and his gloves had been discarded completely. As for his pants, they left nothing to the imagination. Gaz was unsure how she felt about that.

She smiled at him. "Come over here, I've got something I want to show you."

He sat beside her as she pulled a large note book out of her backpack and turned to the back. She flicked through several pages of drawings, not giving him much of a chance to look at them, but he thought he could tell what it was all building to.

"Here it is." she stopped and handed the book to him, her cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.

Zim cocked his head to the side and squinted. It was a rather good drawing surprisingly, excellent even. The lighting and shadows were perfect, she had even gone to the trouble to colour it for him. A tall Irken was posed rather heroically, standing in the classic Napoleonic style of portraits with his left hand tucked behind his back, gaze fixed on something just off the edge of the page. His clothes however were far more eye-catching, a mix of blacks, reds and pinks from head to toe. A tailed tunic, of jet black with a ruby design across it, dangerous looking knee-high boots, spiked shoulder pads and what looked like his old Elite gauntlets. The image was impressive without a doubt.

"Well?" Gaz pushed for an answer. "It's crap I know, I was just-"

"Crap?" Zim retorted, sounding genuinely shocked. "This is more than mere dookie! It is masterful, how our peers at skool would say, _'kewl'_!"

Her blush darkened; the second compliment in a week? Now this was a first. "Thanks," she muttered. "It took me a few days to get it right. How long would it take you to make it anyway?"

"Make what?"

She rolled her eyes. "The clothes butthead, how long would it take you to make the clothes?"

Zim glanced back down at the notebook, and then back up to Gaz. "Why would I want to make clothes?"

"Because you're dressed like a colour-blind gymnast! Why else do you think I spent all this time designing you a new uniform?"

"But, Zim needs no new clothes!" He edged away from her. Whilst the boots, gloves and pants were all standard issue in the Irken military, his tunic was what designated him as an Invader. Perhaps a little out-dated as the official uniform for Impending Doom I, it was still one of his oldest possessions, and the one he was most proud of. Aside from the Voot of course.

"Oh no you don't you stupid bug!" Gaz grabbed him by his hair and dragged him back across the couch. "I spent too damn long on this just to let you run away from a little fresh perspective on your fashion choices!" She grabbed his collar and tried without success to pull it away from his neck. "You see this? It's skin-tight! How the hell do you breathe with this thing on?"

"HA! Zim has no need to breathe pathetic human girl!"

"Oh yes you do!" piped up a shrill voice from the floor.

"BE SILENT GIR!"

Gaz sighed, picked the notebook off the couch and tore the page out before leaving the book back in her bag, the less Zim saw of her other sketches the better. "Computer," she yelled. "Take this design and create a new uniform for your master based off of it. Use appropriate materials please; I don't think Zim would be amused to find his new tunic isn't stab-proof."

"Yes my mistress, it shall be done!" A metallic hand shot out from the ceiling, grabbed the drawing and shot back again. Gaz couldn't help but smirk; the base showed her far more respect than it did its actual master, always so formal and respectful towards her. She had even seen Zim arguing with it a few times too, none of his equipment ever seemed to work out as it was supposed to. Maybe that was why he still could not conquer the earth?

She looked down at the floor where Zim and GIR were fighting. Zim looked to be winning until GIR activated his rocket boosters and blasted him into the ceiling. The little robot ran off giggling as Zim fell back to earth, tunic smouldering slightly.

"Okay, now you have to admit that your shirt is ruined!"

"NEVER!" He shrieked, raising his fist to the sky in what would have been an impressive gesture, had the fire not started to burn even more fiercely. "I smell cookies?"

Without warning, a jet of clear liquid burst out of the ceiling drenching Zim in seconds. The houses fire prevention system was working, the only problem being that it had stocked up on an earth-based liquid as its chief method of preventing fires.

"GAAAAHHHHHH!" Zim had obviously forgotten to take his paste bath that day; it was the worst pain he had ever experienced. He would honestly have preferred to be roasted then soaked.

"Whiner." Gaz muttered; getting to her knee's beside him. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a straight razor (Gaz obviously being the kind of girl to carry a straight razor at all times), grabbing Zim by the hair to stop him from scrambling away. Acting quickly she flicked the blade out, slid it underneath Zim's collar and with a one quick movement sliced his tunic open. Stab proof it may be, but there was nothing in the Universe that could withstand a blade made by her dad. "Now hurry up and take it off." Gaz was almost certain she could hear the computer chuckling as Zim groaned in agony.

She had always imagined his body to be more human. A stupid idea obviously, but then she had only a limited experience of the male body from biology class, television and one visit to a porn site out of pure boredom. She had not been impressed. Zim was obviously different. No navel or nipples of course, he was a literal test-tube baby after all, though his muscle structure was quite interesting. Hard and well-defined, but different from a humans, if only slightly. There were obvious imperfections as well, small scars across his arms and torso, and she could just make out the ends of larger ones across his back. This was a body that had been dedicated to a very violent cause.

Gaz smiled as Zim laid there beneath her, eyes shut tight and taking short panic breathes. Smoke still rising from his body. Very gently she ran her razor across his abdomen, enjoying the dips off muscles and ridges of his many scars. Finally she reached the edge of his pants, for half a second she was tempted to slice them off too. Zim definitely had her approval.

"What on Irk are you doing?"

She dropped the blade with a squeak. Now the situation was awkward, your secret alien crush turns out to be unbelievably sexy and you have been caught ogling his half-naked body with a razor blade in your hand. There is not a lot that can be done in a situation like that, so Gaz did the only thing she could think of. She grabbed him by the arm, pulled him up, and kissed him.

* * *

"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!" Dib screamed at her. He was sitting on the stairs, cup of coffee in hand and eyes read from lack of sleep. It was 4am. Gaz had hoped that he would have gone to bed early tonight instead of waiting up for her on account of his big plans for the day. Obviously she had been wrong.

Gaz had never been a good liar, something about having no real parental figure other than a pushover brother had meant that she'd never to be. Brutal honesty or a refusal to admit anything had generally seen her through most problems, though this situation was a little out of the ordinary. "I was at a friend's house." She muttered to the floor.

It was the only thing she could think of, the sort of thing teenagers said to their parents in those awful dramas that she watched when there was nothing better on. Gaz had no friends. Plus a sleepover would not account for her time of arrival, crumpled clothes, messy and the fact she stank like she had run marathon, Zim's house being devoid of showers.

Dib just glared at her. "Is that a joke? Gazelene Membrane I am asking you, where the hell you've been the past nine hours! You said you were going to the park for Christ's sake!"

"I did go to the park." She had gone that way to and from Zim's house.

"FOR NINE HOURS!?"

"Jesus Dib will you shut the fuck up! If you really want to know so bad I'll tell you, just don't bust a nut over it." She took a deep breath. "I was visiting my boyfriend."

She looked Dib in the eye. He looked like he was about to say something when his left eye suddenly twitched.

"LOUIE WAS RIGHT!" He shrieked, leaping to his feet, his cold coffee spilling across the stairs carpet. "YOU ARE DATING ZIM! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!" Dib's mind had finally broken, it seemed the thought of his little sister getting freaky with the intergalactic monstrosity he had dedicated his life to defeating was just too much.

"YOU ARE SOOOOO GROUNDED GAZ! JUST WAIT UNTIL DAD HEARS, AND HE WILL! OH HE WILL!"

Gaz just stared at him. "Can I go to bed now?"

Gibbering to himself, Dib paused. "Oh yes of course." He sounded almost normal, but then resumed his frenzied muttering.

Gaz managed to squeeze past his enormous head on the stairs as Dib continued on with his ranting's, slamming her bedroom door shut behind her and sliding down against the wall. After what felt like an age of staring into nothing she finally decided that it might be a good idea to go to bed. Kicking off her boots and throwing her clothes to the floor for the second time that night, she lay back on her bed and giggled quietly. She didn't know why, it had just been that sort of day.

* * *

The sun was shining in through her window when Gaz woke up. For a second she lay perfectly still, enjoying the warmth and peace. Finally she decided to get up; if the sun was through her window then it must be pretty late in the day. She sat up and immediately fell back groaning in pain, her back felt like it was on fire. In fact, nearly every muscle ached! What the hell had she done last night? And then it hit her like a tonne of bricks. Zim.

Eventually she managed to make it to the bathroom to see the full extent of the damage. Her hair was a riot of course, wild violet tangles sticking out at every direction, but she was used to that. Her make-up was a mess though; doubtless she would find her pillow with a perfect imprint of her face on it whenever she went back to her room. Gaz rubbed her eyes and then she noticed her neck. Three, large dark bruises adorned it, and what looked like smaller nips. Zim clearly had a thing for necks then, or just biting in general. She turned to inspect her back. More marks, long scratches, some running from shoulder to hip, bruises on her arms, more nips on her shoulders. The little alien obviously had fun with her. She would deal with that later though, right now she just wanted to soak in a warm bath for a few hours, and then maybe she would be up to stopping Dib.

"Kids, I'm home." Came a familiar voice from downstairs. Gaz's eyes fluttered open. Dad was home? Her father was actually in the house for the first time in nearly two months?

"Hey dad," she yelled back climbing out of the tub and grabbing a towel. "I'll be down in a second." She grabbed her phone off the floor and checked the time. Six o'clock. Shit, she had promised Zim she would be at his house by now. That would have to wait though, she would put anything on hold to see her dad again.

* * *

Professor Membrane was sitting at the kitchen table when she came down to see him. Eating a slice of Super Toast whilst looking over some papers from work. He had not changed much over the years; still the same buttoned up lab coat, complete with his gloves and goggles. His famous lightning bolt hair was still there of course, maybe even longer than before, but now streaked with white and grey. The Professor was many things, but he was not vain. Not even he could stop death, so let the whole world see that he was getting older and weaker; he would not be there forever.

"Ah hello Gaz." He said to her as she sat down beside him. He might have been smiling, it was impossible to tell. "How are you doing this fine day?"

"I'm doing great dad." she smiled up at him, grabbing a piece of toast from his plate and taking a bite. She's managed to cover up the bites on her neck with some quick make-up and a scarf, not that her dad would notice, but they were still a little embarrassing. Everything else was suitably dark and gothic, Zim understood psychological warfare; that was one of the reasons for designing that new costume for him after all. Therefore she had to dress to inspire fear. Maybe the short skirt, tights and low cut top were a little more on the provocative side then was appropriate for a battle, but Gaz's logic was simply to have Josh and Louie too distracted by a little bit of leg to notice she was holding a steaming plasma cannon.

The Professor cocked his head to one side, frowning as he noticed her attire. "Going anywhere…special tonight sweetie?"

She blushed slightly. Maybe wearing a scarf without a coat was a stupid idea, then again conventional logic rarely applied in her house or with Zim. It had seemed like an okay idea at the time.

"Uh…yeah, I am."

He remained perfectly still, frowning at her, clearly wanting her to elaborate.

Gaz swallowed. "I'm...I'm going to go visit my boyfriend tonight. We're going to go see this band later."

There was an awkward silence, then the Professor burst out laughing.

"Oh you kids are growing up so fast!" he chuckled, shaking his head. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a leather wallet. "I assume you'll want some money for a cab?" He plucked a $20 bill and handed it to her. "That should cover it."

Gaz stared at the twenty before quickly pocketing it. "Uh…thanks dad." She stood up to leave, but not before leaning over and hugging him. He might never be home, be might ignore her for the good of mankind and abandon her with her idiot brother, but Professor Membrane could be a pretty cool dad when he made an effort.

The Professor chuckled, offering a one-armed half-hug in return. "Don't stay out too late," he called after her. "And I'd like to meet this boy of yours at some point as well, if it's no trouble."

"Sure thing dad." Gaz called back. She grabbed her backpack off the couch where she'd left it, slung it over her shoulder, reached for the door handle and…

"AH DAMNIT TO HELL!"

The door handle had given her one of the worst electric shocks of her life. She glanced up at screen flashing above her. 'BIO-SIGNATURE REJECTED' it read. Gaz groaned, Dib must have changed it whilst she was asleep.

Professor Membrane emerged from the kitchen, looking down in shock to see his daughter lying on the floor, glaring up at the door. "What's the matter honey?" he asked, striding over to see if she was alright.

She sighed, flexing her hand. It was trembling a little from the shock, but otherwise she was fine. "Dib changed the damn bio-reader on me." She muttered.

The Professor walked up to the door and examined small screen on the wall beside it. "Well now that is strange." He said to no one in particular. "Gaz dear, do you have any idea why your brother would hack into the houses security system, putting you in serious danger, just to stop you leaving?"

"Well…" she began, trying to work out the best way to word her explanation. "You remember that kid Dib thought was an alien?"

The professor frowned. "Yes I do vaguely recall him, the green boy? He had some skin condition?"

"Yeah. I'm sorting of, going out with him."

"Oh Gaz." He sighed. "You know you shouldn't encourage your brother's delusions like this. It's bad enough he watches those awful shows without you worrying him too." He shook his head before returning to the door. "I'm glad you're making friends so I'll let you out tonight, and I will speak to Dib about this when he gets home, but you have to promise to stop teasing your brother like this."

She smiled at him. Like I said, he could be a pretty cool dad. "I promise dad." She hugged him one last time, and then bolted out the door. There wasn't much time left until Dib made his move.

**I cannot write smut to save my life, hence I brushed over my scene. Though I would imagine that since Zim doesn't sleep, has pretty limitless energy and is a bit of a sadist, he's going to wreck pretty much anyone. Poor Gaz was a virgin, ouchy ;-; but she gave as good as she got, as we shall see when Zim is in agony in the next chapter :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter. The last fucking chapter, and oddly the shortest. Enjoy.**

"OH THE PAIN! THE STINGING PAIN!" Zim writhed in agony as the house applied healing gel to the scratches across his back. If he had known how painful human relationships could be he would never have allowed Gaz anywhere near him, though he had to admit that it had been a fun night.

"Well you can only blame yourself." Nagged the computer, who had been forced to watch the proceedings. "I tried to tell you humans aren't that violent when they mate, the Mistress was probably trying to stop you from hurting her."

"Silence computer!" Zim replied, swatting at the metal arm. "Zim performed masterfully, which is why my Gaz insisted on crushing my squeedlyspooch whilst she recuperated from Zim's amazing love-making!"

The computer made a disgusted noise at the memory. "Well let's just hope you haven't scared her off, we'll need her tonight, and it's nearly 7 o'clock already."

Suddenly, alarms began to flash all over the base. 'INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!' flashed across the screen of the medical bay.

The computer sighed. "Well, I guess we're fucked now. I'm gonna initiate self-destruct, that way it'll save us all being captured. It was nice knowing you Zim; tell GIR I'll see him in binary heaven." A sequence of Irken symbols began to play across the screen.

"HALT COMPUTER! YOUR MASTER COMMANDS YOU!"

The countdown paused.

A line of sweat trickled down Zim's forehead, the computer was not bluffing. Ever since Dib had first planted that probe in the base the computer had had a terrible fear of being hacked by human viruses. "We can still stop the stink-worms; just stick to the STUPID human girls plan! It worked, you know it worked!"

"It only worked with the Mistress…without her we're doomed."

"We just need another person, someone to distract them whilst I deal with Dib!" Zim grabbed a handful of hair and yanked it out, and then he had it. The most distracting person he knew.

* * *

They had made it into the house. No gnome attacks, no sentry guns, no electric force-fields; not even a 'Dib-beast suks!' sign. Dib was worried.

The rest of the team looked around Zim's living room in a mixture of awe and confusion. They had never made it this far before, only Dib and Louie had actually been inside the base, though Louie had been unconscious for most of it.

"Come on team," Dib commanded. "The real base is further in; we just need to get through the toilet and we'll be halfway done!"

Josh made a face. "A toilet? Seriously Dib?"

Dib glared at him, he was acting unusually smug since he had found out he was right about Gaz dating Zim. "Yes Josh, a toilet." Dib led them into the kitchen and pointed over to it. "Would you like to go first or shall I?"

Josh paled a little and shook his head. Louie glanced at the toilet and trembled, it had taken everything he had just to look at the strange little house again without remembering everything that had happened that night. Every time he had even glanced at Zim or Gaz he had wanted to be sick.

Dib lifted the toilet lid and stepped inside it. "Keep in contact at all times, I'll radio for you guys once I'm sure the area is secure. In the meantime keep your cameras rolling." Dib turned to press the flusher, and was gone.

* * *

GIR whistled happily to himself as he skipped through the base, his master had given him a mission, and it was actually a fun one for once; to go and play with the dirty earth-monkeys in the kitchen for as long as he wanted. Maybe he would see Gazzy too, he liked her; her hair smelled pretty and she made the master happy. He stopped at an elevator and walked inside.

"Okay house, I wanna go to the glowin' banana room!"

"NO GIR!" Zim yelled back over the intercom. "There is no glowing banana room! Just go distract the humans whilst I take care of Dib!"

"Ohhhhhh yeah...I WANNA GO PLAY HEAD EXPLODER!"

"GIR just stay focused." Interrupted the computer as the doors closed and the elevator began to ascend.

"Do, do-do doody do-do, do do-do do doody dah doo!" There was no elevator music, so GIR made-up his own.

* * *

Josh and Louie turned around sharply; they had heard a loud pinging noise from the living room. Standing in the middle of the room, eyes unfocused and staring blankly in opposite directions was a little green puppy.

Louie lowered his weapon. "Aww. How'd you get in here then little fella?"

The puppy continued to stare at him.

"Lou...I've got a bad feeling about this." Josh explained, keeping the gun trained on the little dog.

"Oh calm down Josh, it's just a puppy." Louie walked over to GIR and began to pet his head. "Oh who's a good little boy?"

GIR shut his eyes and began to rub his head against Louie's hand, tail wagging. "I'M A GOOD BOY!"

Louie and Josh froze. "Did that dog just-"

Josh never finished his sentence, bowled over by GIR.

"YOUR MOUTH SMELLS LIKE MASTER'S NEW SHOES!" He screeched into Josh's face, before licking him and grabbing his gun. "What's this do!?"

"Get off! That's a sensitive piece of equipment!"

GIR fired it into the wall, leaving a smoking burn mark

"Ohhhhhh, it's pretty!"

"Louie, do something!" Josh screeched at his friend, still in shock from the talking dog.

Louie charged over to them and pulled GIR off; only to be carried into the living room as GIR activated his rocket boosters and shot them both into the floor.

"Hey," GIR sang. "You got hair like a corn! I LIKE COOOOORRRRRRRNNNNNNN!" He grabbed a handful of Louie's hair, tore it out and stuffed it into his mouth.

"AGGGHHHH!" He shrieked. "JOSH SHOOT IT, SHOOT IT NOW!"

GIR only had time to spit out the hair. "It tastes like plastic!" Was all he had time to say before Josh shot him.

* * *

"JOSH, LOUIE, COME IN!" Dib yelled into his radio. No reply. This part of the base was unfamiliar though, maybe he was so far down that it was causing interference? He had originally asked to go to the armoury, but instead he had been brought here.

"Don't worry Dib, I'm sure they'll follow you down once they realise how long you've been gone without radio contact. Yep, they'll be down here in no time!" He stopped; it'd been a few years since he had last spoken to himself. He squatted down by the elevator and sighed. Gaz and Zim, he had been thinking of little else all day. It was the ultimate betrayal, his sister had always known how much he despised Zim, he had spent years trying to catch him, or stop him, or whatever had needed to be done. Their father was out trying to save mankind from disease and hunger and she never said a harsh word about him; he was fighting a far more dangerous threat and she gave him nothing but abuse for it! Not to mention all the time he had spent looking after her, being there with her. She had never had any real friends, neither of them had; so he had decided to help her out. Never a thank you or a single display of affection. Once Zim was caught he would deal with Gaz, put her on trial as a traitor against humanity? Well maybe that was a little harsh, but something would have to be done…

"DIB!"

He looked up. There was Zim, standing at the end of the hallway, staring wide-eyed at him, mouth agape.

"ZIM!" Dib bellowed. "I have you now you little fucker!" He raised his gun and fired. It was an awful shot, the electric bolt hit the wall a few feet to Zim's right sending him fleeing around the corner.

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Dib leapt to his feet and sprinted after him. It was all going to end today.

* * *

Gordy was waiting outside the front door when Gaz finally arrived breathless.

"Oh fuck…" she breathed. "Please don't let me be too late!" She crouched down beside the fence and poked her head around. There was something smoking gently on the ground beside him, it looked slightly green. She stepped out from the fence and started walking towards it slowly.

Gordy turned slowly, his chair whirring loudly. They had never really spoken, not that either of them really did. Gordy could not speak any recognisable language, and Gaz was just Gaz.

Gaz stopped a few feet away, the small burnt object between them. "What the fuck have you done?" She whispered.

Gordy's hand worked furiously on his keyboard. "SHE-EN." The computer intoned in a voice that would have made Stephen Hawking blush. "MORE-T."

Gaz dropped to her knees and placed a hand on what she assumed was its head. It felt like cloth. "GIR?" she murmured. She pulled the little robot over to her and unzipped his costume. His eyes were a dark grey, his mouth, always talking, was now just a slit in cold metal. It was the first time she had cried since she was seven, when she had found out how her mother had died. Gaz could not stop herself; she picked up the little robot and hugged him. She had only known him a week, and he was incredibly annoying, but she had loved him. He was like a little brother, one she actually liked.

"You stupid little piece of junk," she sniffed. "I should have known you'd ruin the plan."

A spark from his body made her jump as her skin accidently made contact with the metal. "Oh shit!" Gaz dropped GIR's rag-doll body to rub her cheek, it stung like hell. "Sorry GIR." She whispered, whipping away the tears. Hold on though…a spark? Her brain was working fast now; damn feelings had stopped her thinking straight. Everybody in Dib's stupid squad was armed with powerful electrical weapons, so obviously GIR had been electrocuted. It was so obvious now.

She jumped to her feet and checked in the pack attached to the back of Gordy's chair. He couldn't type fast enough to object though, as soon as he had moved his pudgy fingers to the second letter she had found what she was after, his gun. She turned it on, flicked it up to full power, took aim. "Please work..."

GIR shot twenty feet into the air as the electricity coursed through his tiny frame. It would have been enough to kill a human, but of course GIR was not human. He crashed back to the ground, making a small crater in the grass. Gaz walked tentatively over and peered down into the pit. "GIR…are you okay?"

Two small red eyes glowed up at her from the bottom. GIR leapt up past her, spun in the air and landed on his feet, turning to salute smartly. "MISTRESS! I am here to serve."

Gaz bit her lip. She had seen this GIR and she hated it. Who cared if he was more effective this way, he wasn't GIR. "Yeah but, are you okay?"

The eyes flashed back to blue. "I don't know."

She sighed in relief, and immediately found herself on her back with GIR crushing her head.

"GAZZY! GAZ-GAZ-GAZ-GAZ-GAAAAAAZZZZZZZYYYYYYY!" GIR screamed at her, clinging to her head for dear life. "I missed choo! And your hair smells like my master now!" He grabbed a handful of her hair and began to suck on it, like a baby with a pacifier.

She smiled and took him down off her head gently, hugging him tightly as tears pricked her eyes again. "It's good to have you back little guy."

GIR beamed up at her and then glanced over at the front door of the house, his antenna drooped. "There are humans in the house," he whispered, holding Gaz's arm tightly. "They hurted me…I don't remember good, it was all cold…"

Gaz hugged him tighter. "It's okay GIR; I'll make the nasty men pay for hurting my little guy."

* * *

The Pak legs clicked beneath him as they carried him through the corridors after his quarry. Once again, Zim was enjoying the hunt immensely. The hologram he had sent Dib was working perfectly, based on how he had previously looked of course. He had reasoned that the Dib-stink would be much more willing to chase the smaller, more alien-looking Zim then how he looked now. Every entrance to the base through the kitchen and living room was sealed off as well, meaning that no one would interrupt them when they faced each other.

"I'll teach you to mess with my sister!" echoed a voice just ahead of him. Zim chuckled and picked up the pace, he almost felt bad for Dib.

"Sir, I have urgent news!"

Zim sighed but kept walking. "Not now computer! The mighty Zim is hunting."

"Oh okay then," the computer actually sounded offended. "I guess you don't want to know that your girlfriend has finally showed up."

"My what!?"

* * *

"Gaz?" Louie had been lying on the couch; every way into the base was completely blocked. All they could do was wait until Dib came back. Josh was still trying though, firing his gun at the toilet in the hope he could blast his was through.

"Hey Lou." Gaz smiled sweetly at him, batting her eyelashes. Despite her make-up being smeared from the tears she still looked incredibly good.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He reached for his gun.

"Oh nothin', I just came along to ask you guys something."

"Who's that?" Came a voice from the kitchen.

"Hey Josh" Gaz called.

Josh looked into the room; his jaw nearly hit the floor when he saw her.

"Apparently she's got something to ask us." Louie told him, getting up off the sofa, his gun holstered. He knew not to trust Gaz, but seeing her like this was still good, especially after how sick with fear he had felt seeing her the past week,

"Well actually, it's really two things." She giggled a little at that. Josh and Louie both smiled, how could someone this sweet and pretty be dangerous? They both stepped closer to her.

"Well go on ahead and ask then." Louie was grinning like an idiot now, Josh's mouth still hung open.

Gaz took a step forward. "Well firstly…" she pulled her right hand out from behind her back, in it was clutched GIR, who she pointed at Josh. "What the fuck did you guys do to GIR? And secondly," she pulled the gun out with her left and aimed it straight at Louie's face. "Where the fuck is my boyfriend?"

GIR looked up at Josh. "He's the man who made me cold! HIS BREATH SMELLS LIKE DA MASTER'S FEET!"

Gaz smirked. "Good. GIR, fire."

A little rubber piggy shot out of GIR's head and straight into Josh's face. The force sent him flying back into the kitchen. And then all hell broke loose.

* * *

"I've finally got you now Zim!" Dib panted. He had no idea how long he had been chasing the little alien, but he had never stopped to take a breath. Not once.

Zim was cowering in a corner, whimpering quietly to himself.

"It's over Zim. You're finished; your little mission ends here. Your base and robot will be torn apart for study; your body will spend the rest of its days preserved for all humanity, and my sister? She's going to pay for betraying me like this." Dib aimed his gun and cranked the power all the way up to maximum. "Any last requests before I do what I should have done when I first saw your hideous face in skool all those years ago?!"

Zim stood up. There was something different about him, but Dib just could not put his finger on it. Was he always this small?

"Yes actually." Every trace of fear was gone completely now. The little alien, half his size and unarmed, was staring his executioner right in the eye.

Dib chuckled. "Go ahead."

Zim begun to chuckle, and then cackle. His old laugh of triumph. Dib had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "The last thing I want from you, oh mighty Dib-worm, is for you to look behind you!"

Dib heard breathing behind, heavy, angry breathing. Before he had a chance to turn he had been lifted completely off his feet. Someone was grabbing him around the neck, long cold claws digging into his throat.

"Never threaten my Gaz again." Zim hissed into his ear.

The hologram disappeared, but the laughter still rang in his ears as Zim's grip tightened.

**Well it's done. Almost anyway, I'm going to finish the epilogue, just an extra short piece to round everything off. Thanks to everyone who liked, fav'd, reviewed and was generally nice to me about this. You guys rock, the rest of you should learn from their example.**


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